Gorgeous Destinations or Deep Connections—What Truly Feels Like Home?

A beautiful place or a strong community—what truly makes a home for expats? Explore the reality of finding belonging abroad.

Can a Beautiful Place Still Feel Lonely?

I’ve been an expat long enough to know that just because a place looks like paradise doesn’t mean it *feels* like home. I’ve also learned that sometimes, the cities that don’t come with a glossy travel-magazine aesthetic hold the deepest sense of belonging.

For me, Sydney and Ho Chi Minh City are perfect examples of this contrast.

Sydney? Breathtaking. It serves up jaw-dropping harbor views, golden beaches, and that polished, easy-breezy lifestyle. But when I first landed, I realized real quick—just because a place is beautiful doesn’t mean it welcomes you with open arms. Finding my people took time. It wasn’t automatic. It took effort, and if I’m keeping it real, sometimes it felt like I was the only one doing the work.

Sydney is a multicultural city, and that means there are communities to tap into—you just have to find them. Whether it’s cultural groups, professional networks, or social events, there are options. But the truth is, a lot of people in Sydney already have their lives. They’ve got their friends, their routines, their weekend beach plans. No one’s necessarily looking to add new people to their circle. However, that easy-going Aussie nature? It’s real. People are friendly, laid-back, and happy to chat—but that doesn’t always translate to deep connections. You have to be intentional about building your community here. Sydney is great, but you have to work harder to create those bonds. I can imagine introverts struggling a bit more, especially when deep friendships aren’t forming as quickly as they’d hoped.

Then there’s Ho Chi Minh City. It doesn’t have Sydney’s manicured, picture-perfect look, and let’s be real—it can be chaotic. The heat hits you the second you step outside, the traffic is a never-ending ballet of motorbikes weaving through impossible gaps, and the air? Let’s just say clean, crisp breezes aren’t exactly its strong suit. But somehow, despite all that, its felt like *home* almost instantly.

The energy is something else—alive, vibrant, unapologetic. People don’t just mind their own business here; they see you. Whether it’s the security guard who remembers your name, the street vendor who greets you with a smile every morning, or the expat parents who scoop you into their circle without hesitation, there’s an unspoken understanding: we’re all in this together. And that kind of warmth? You can’t manufacture that.

What About the Kids?

For expat parents, this decision isn’t just about us. Where do we raise our children? Do we chase the stability, resources, and structure of a developed country? Or do we lean into the cultural exposure, community, and global awareness that comes with a place like Ho Chi Minh City?

And then there’s the big one: Do we take our kids “back home” when they reach a certain age? There’s power in growing up around your own culture, seeing reflections of yourself in the world around you. But at what cost? Do we sacrifice deep connections and a global mindset for familiarity? It’s a tough call.

So, What DOES Defines Home??

I don’t have the answer. Both are valuable in their own way. For me, the priorities are twofold: Where do my children have a level of independence and opportunities? And where are we as parents happiest?

Maybe the last factor—one we can’t ignore—is what makes the most financial sense. Because let’s be real, feeling at home is also about being able to sustain the life you want to live. It’s a balance, and what feels like home today may shift over time.

So, what matters most to you when choosing where to live? The lifestyle, the opportunities, the beauty? Or the people, the connections, and the feeling of belonging? It is a tough choice, and the grass is always greener on the other side. My advice, listen to the voice within, it knows. And you know it…