How Moving to Sydney Was a Completely Different Expat Experience

Unlike traditional expat postings, Sydney doesn’t come with a built-in community. Here’s how I navigated the transition, found my people, and built a life that felt like mine.

Let’s be real—moving to a new country is already a lot. But when you’re following your spouse and don’t have a job, a crew, or even one solid connection of your own? That’s a different kind of lonely.

When I moved to Sydney, I thought I had this expat thing figured out. I’d lived abroad before, attended international schools, and always had an instant network. But Sydney was different. Unlike places with strong expat communities—where people are constantly arriving, leaving, and looking for new friends—Sydney felt established. People had their routines, their lifelong social circles, their neighborhoods. It wasn’t an easy place to “break in.”

I felt like I had been dropped into the middle of someone else’s life, trying to figure out where I fit. It took time, but I eventually found my rhythm. If you’re in that same stage—feeling a bit lost in a place that doesn’t have a built-in expat scene—here’s what helped me.

1. Adjusting My Expectations

In many expat-heavy cities, friendships happen fast. Everyone is in the same boat, looking for connection. Sydney wasn’t like that. There was no automatic expat network, no big welcome events, no instant social scene. And at first, that felt isolating.

Once I realized this transition was going to take longer, I gave myself permission to not have it all figured out right away. I started focusing on small wins—recognizing a familiar face at the café, chatting with a neighbor, finding routines that felt grounding.

2. Finding Connection in Unexpected Places

I didn’t find my people through traditional expat meetups or structured events. Funny enough, it started with a dog.

When my husband got the girls a puppy, I was annoyed at first. It felt like another thing to take care of when I was already trying to adjust. But that little dog got me out of the house, walking around the neighborhood, stopping to talk to other dog owners. Those casual chats turned into friendships. Before I knew it, we had real friends—right next door.

If you’re struggling to meet people, focus on where you already are. Your gym, your favorite coffee spot, the playground where you take your kids—these are all places where you can slowly build connection, one familiar face at a time.

3. Saying Yes, Even When It Felt Awkward

In a city where social circles are well-established, making friends takes effort. In Sydney, I had to push myself to say yes to things I normally wouldn’t—grabbing coffee with a neighbor, roller skating around the Sydney Opera House, attending an event where I didn’t know anyone.

It felt awkward at first, but each small yes made the next one easier. And slowly, those moments turned into real friendships.

4. Creating My Own Sense of Home

In some places, being an expat is an identity. In Sydney, I had to carve out my own space instead of relying on an existing expat structure. That meant creating routines that gave me a sense of stability, decorating our home in a way that felt familiar, and finding small rituals that made Sydney feel like ours.

One of the simplest ways to feel grounded is to explore your city like a local. Find your favorite café, your go-to weekend spot, the best place for long walks. The more you interact with your surroundings, the more they become yours.

5. Finding Purpose Again

Beyond making friends and feeling at home, I realized I needed something for me. It wasn’t just about settling into a new city—it was about rediscovering my own sense of purpose.

I started studying when I arrived, diving into something new that challenged me and gave me a focus beyond just adjusting. That eventually led me to start my own business—something I never would have done if I hadn’t been pushed out of my comfort zone.

Finding purpose doesn’t have to mean launching a business or taking on something huge. It can be as simple as volunteering, joining a club, or learning a new skill. Having something to work toward made all the difference in how I felt about my new life.

Remember, It Gets Easier

The first few months in any new country are an emotional rollercoaster. Some days, you’ll feel like you’re thriving. Other days, you’ll wonder if you made the right move. Both are normal.

Finding your rhythm takes time, especially in a place where you don’t have an instant community waiting for you. But one day, without even realizing it, you’ll wake up and feel at home.

Let’s Chat

Have you moved somewhere without an instant expat community? How did you find your rhythm? I’d love to hear your experience—share with me over on [Instagram]!